How Much I Hate Alan - A John Story

hax0red

2008-10-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today my blog was hacksed.

Love,

john7go7own'd

The Worst Quest Ever

2008-09-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

So... We quested... I guess. We drank a bottle of absinthe and some beers, time traveled to 4 AM, and got to boss 1 of Super Mario RPG. Then we passed out and Alan put a horse blanket on me.

Alan May Know Me To Well

2008-09-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of standardization. Everything has a place, type, etc. That being said, my good friends have a fairly well established idea of how I like things to be. However, you don't expect instant messaging font to be one of them...

Alan Berndt [11:47 AM]: I don't want people picking what font to talk to me
Alan Berndt [11:47 AM]: I decide
John Holleran [11:47 AM]: but you don't see my custom picked font
Alan Berndt [11:48 AM]: correct
John Holleran [11:48 AM]: well i feel you owe me that much
Alan Berndt [11:48 AM]: it's probably comic sans ms

Now, I'm borderline insane and the rules become pretty dynamic and complicated on how I choose my world to be. The fact that Alan knows what font I would use for instant messaging without even seeing it, when most people can't visually pick out the font to begin with, is creepy. We call those people enemies (stalkers).

How The Blog Almost Died

2008-09-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can imagine I have more than one GMail account. Thus, I had to log off this account to check the others. Unfortunately, the password was just being saved and I didn't remember it. Luckily my mom was able to guess that I had made the password "alansucks" so the blog lives on. Anyway...

John Holleran [2:22 PM]: right
John Holleran [2:23 PM]: so you have a myspace account for your WoW character?
Alan Berndt [2:23 PM]: yeah

...I don't even want to add anything to that.

How Conversations With Alan Scare Other People

2008-09-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'm not even going into the 2 hour time paradox argument I had with Alan yesterday. The results being the only way to protect ourselves from our future selves killing us is to make sure we kill the others future doppelganger first (since out future selves would already know what we're thinking or planning), and even that plan is severely flawed. This is what happens when I bring a much more normal conversation between me and Alan to someone else accidently.

John Holleran [10:11 AM]: did you get your work web cam yet
John Holleran [10:11 AM]: so we can virtual office
Brett Hartig [10:11 AM]: it hasnt even crossed my mind

John Holleran [10:12 AM]: did you get your work web cam yet
John Holleran [10:12 AM]: so we can virtual office
Alan Berndt [10:14 AM]: nope

Notice how much less boggled the reply seems to be in the latter... just think if I had accidently sent the time paradox extravaganza instead. I hate talking to Alan.

Does Alan Want Me To Fail At Life?

2008-09-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

This is a interesting question that I've been pondering for quite some time. Alan has always been jealous of being so the same like the same as me that sometimes I wonder if he secretly wishes to be so better like the same. Take this little exchange:

John 7own [9:04 AM]: yes
John 7own [9:04 AM]: in person job interview
John 7own [9:05 AM]: suck it berndt
John 7own [9:05 AM]: suck it hard
Bent Glass Tube [9:05 AM]: nice
Bent Glass Tube [9:05 AM]: I hope this doesn't mean there will be no more ih8alan blog updates

I'm just trying to be cordial and tell him I have a job interview and maybe my life isn't trash. Then he feels the need to be all no one cares, work on your blog. Jackass.

EABR - Video Game Nostalgia Or Socialist Republic

2008-09-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today I frequented my newest favorite web station, EatABrick Radio. A delightful mixture of video game music and music from video games, and sometimes just ungodly loud noises. I wanted to delete all the music from the radio station but Alan said not to becuase it would annoy him. It made me like Alan less.